A century after the invention of the bra, most women are still wearing the wrong size. Here's how to get the perfect fit.
A bra that doesn't fit well can spoil the look of the most expensive dress in your wardrobe.
3 Simple steps to the perfect fit
1. Throw away your measure tapes
Measuring your bust is not the key to getting a great fit. Stand by the mirror and start by taking a look at how your bra fits you and then consider whether you need to adjust your back size or cup size following steps 2 and 3.
2. Find the right back size (28-40)
The back size relates to how the bra fits around your body. The band around your body provides most of the support, so it should be firm but comfortable. It should be horizontal and not ride up at the back at all. If it is loose, or it rides up at the back, try a smaller back size (but remember to increase your cup size). Your bra will stretch with wash and wear, so we recommend a new bra that fits you when fastened on the loosest (outside) hook.
3. Find the right cup size (D-L)
The cup size relates to the volume of your breasts. The wires at the front should lie flat against your rib cage and should not dig in, rub or poke out at the front. Your breasts should be enclosed in the cups and you should have a smooth line where the fabric at the top of the cup ends and meets your bust. You shouldn't have any ridge or bulging over the top or sides of the cups, even if you are wearing a balconette style or lower cut shape.
Why you should choose a well-fitted bra
When your bra back or cup size are right, you will get great support that will give your upper body a good shape and protect your neck, shoulder and back muscles
7 Classic bra faux pas
The Quadraboob
Q: Are your breasts spilling over the cups?
A: The cup size of your bra is too small. You could try a bigger cup size.
The Superdrooper
Q: Do you feel your breasts aren't getting the support they deserve?
A: The back of your bra is too big and your straps may be too loose. Try a smaller back size.
The Ledge
Q: Does your bra give you over
uplift transforming your breasts into something that resembles a shelf?
A: It's likely the bra cups and back size are too small. Try a size bigger.
The side boob
Q: Are the wires in the side of your bra cup sitting on your breast rather than your ribcage?
A: It's likely that the cup size is too small. Try a cup size bigger.
The big stand off
Q: Does the front of your bra not sit flat on your sternum or breastbone?
A: The back size of your bra is too big. Try going down a size.
The high rider
Q: Is the back of the bra riding up?
A: The back size of your bra is too big. A small backsize should help this.
A bra that doesn't fit well can spoil the look of the most expensive dress in your wardrobe.
3 Simple steps to the perfect fit
1. Throw away your measure tapes
Measuring your bust is not the key to getting a great fit. Stand by the mirror and start by taking a look at how your bra fits you and then consider whether you need to adjust your back size or cup size following steps 2 and 3.
2. Find the right back size (28-40)
The back size relates to how the bra fits around your body. The band around your body provides most of the support, so it should be firm but comfortable. It should be horizontal and not ride up at the back at all. If it is loose, or it rides up at the back, try a smaller back size (but remember to increase your cup size). Your bra will stretch with wash and wear, so we recommend a new bra that fits you when fastened on the loosest (outside) hook.
3. Find the right cup size (D-L)
The cup size relates to the volume of your breasts. The wires at the front should lie flat against your rib cage and should not dig in, rub or poke out at the front. Your breasts should be enclosed in the cups and you should have a smooth line where the fabric at the top of the cup ends and meets your bust. You shouldn't have any ridge or bulging over the top or sides of the cups, even if you are wearing a balconette style or lower cut shape.
Why you should choose a well-fitted bra
When your bra back or cup size are right, you will get great support that will give your upper body a good shape and protect your neck, shoulder and back muscles
7 Classic bra faux pas
The Quadraboob
Q: Are your breasts spilling over the cups?
A: The cup size of your bra is too small. You could try a bigger cup size.
The Superdrooper
Q: Do you feel your breasts aren't getting the support they deserve?
A: The back of your bra is too big and your straps may be too loose. Try a smaller back size.
The Ledge
Q: Does your bra give you over
uplift transforming your breasts into something that resembles a shelf?
A: It's likely the bra cups and back size are too small. Try a size bigger.
The side boob
Q: Are the wires in the side of your bra cup sitting on your breast rather than your ribcage?
A: It's likely that the cup size is too small. Try a cup size bigger.
The big stand off
Q: Does the front of your bra not sit flat on your sternum or breastbone?
A: The back size of your bra is too big. Try going down a size.
The high rider
Q: Is the back of the bra riding up?
A: The back size of your bra is too big. A small backsize should help this.
Here's a check list for your hair and skin that you just can't give a miss. Bushra S Khan reports
After your daily dose of prime-time viewing, you brush your teeth, pop your vitamins and hit the sack? No you don't. Is your hair and skin ready for bed just yet? You have to prep your skin and hair before you hit snooze. We ask Cosmetic Dermatologist Dr Rekha Seth and hairstylist Perry Patel to suggest a bedtime beauty ritual.
Hair
1. First of all do not sleep with dirty hair. You'll be clogging your pores if you do. Wash your hair if it is dirty. This way you'll also be saving time in the morning.
2. Secondly, don't sleep with wet hair. Your hair should be almost dry when you sleep unless you want to wake up with your hair sticking out in weird angles.
3. Comb out all the product you have used in the day.
4. Make sure to sleep with tangle-free hair.
5. Vitamin E is food for the hair (and also the skin). Cut a vitamin E capsule and apply it to your problem areas. Falling hair, dry scalp, thinning hair, frayed ends — it works wonders on them all.
6. Tie your hair in a high pony so that the scalp is able to breath. Avoid tying it too tight as hair on the crown starts thinning first. Tying hair loosely is necessary, especially if you have long hair; your hair might get tugged while you are asleep.
7. Pull you hair up right to the hairline at the front (close to your forehead). Comb softly and tie it up in a top knot. It's like working against the natural direction of the hair. When you open your hair in the morning, it will look full bodied, as if you have blow-dried it.
Face
1. Cleansing, mositurising and sun protection are the three golden words for your skin care regime.
2. Wipe off every last bit of make up using a cleansing lotion.
3. Wash your face with a good face wash.
4. Use a moisturiser with anti-oxidants regardless of your skin type. This is the least you can do for your skin and something that you must start doing in early 20s.
5. Indian climate and skin are extremely prone to tanning. Use a skin lightening agent before you start noticing a tan.
6. Exfoliation is not as simple as it seems. People can over-zealously scrub skin, sapping it of its natural oils. Instead, splash a lot of hot water (not scalding hot) on your face to open up the pores. Take a dollop of mild face wash on a soft sponge and work up a lather while scrubbing the face gently in circular motions. This is more than enough rather than exfoliating with harsh substances.
7. However, remember that without sunscreen all this is no good.
Eyes
Darkening and fine lines appear around the eyes before anywhere else. Use a slightly stronger anti-aging cream around the under-eye area.
Hands and feet
Since there are no oil glands on your hands and feet, they tend to get drier and hence age faster. In the quest of maintaining their facial looks, people often neglect their hands and feet. Use more creamy products for your hands (upto the forearms), preferably something with alpha-hydroxy acids. The same stands true for your feet.
After your daily dose of prime-time viewing, you brush your teeth, pop your vitamins and hit the sack? No you don't. Is your hair and skin ready for bed just yet? You have to prep your skin and hair before you hit snooze. We ask Cosmetic Dermatologist Dr Rekha Seth and hairstylist Perry Patel to suggest a bedtime beauty ritual.
Hair
1. First of all do not sleep with dirty hair. You'll be clogging your pores if you do. Wash your hair if it is dirty. This way you'll also be saving time in the morning.
2. Secondly, don't sleep with wet hair. Your hair should be almost dry when you sleep unless you want to wake up with your hair sticking out in weird angles.
3. Comb out all the product you have used in the day.
4. Make sure to sleep with tangle-free hair.
5. Vitamin E is food for the hair (and also the skin). Cut a vitamin E capsule and apply it to your problem areas. Falling hair, dry scalp, thinning hair, frayed ends — it works wonders on them all.
6. Tie your hair in a high pony so that the scalp is able to breath. Avoid tying it too tight as hair on the crown starts thinning first. Tying hair loosely is necessary, especially if you have long hair; your hair might get tugged while you are asleep.
7. Pull you hair up right to the hairline at the front (close to your forehead). Comb softly and tie it up in a top knot. It's like working against the natural direction of the hair. When you open your hair in the morning, it will look full bodied, as if you have blow-dried it.
Face
1. Cleansing, mositurising and sun protection are the three golden words for your skin care regime.
2. Wipe off every last bit of make up using a cleansing lotion.
3. Wash your face with a good face wash.
4. Use a moisturiser with anti-oxidants regardless of your skin type. This is the least you can do for your skin and something that you must start doing in early 20s.
5. Indian climate and skin are extremely prone to tanning. Use a skin lightening agent before you start noticing a tan.
6. Exfoliation is not as simple as it seems. People can over-zealously scrub skin, sapping it of its natural oils. Instead, splash a lot of hot water (not scalding hot) on your face to open up the pores. Take a dollop of mild face wash on a soft sponge and work up a lather while scrubbing the face gently in circular motions. This is more than enough rather than exfoliating with harsh substances.
7. However, remember that without sunscreen all this is no good.
Eyes
Darkening and fine lines appear around the eyes before anywhere else. Use a slightly stronger anti-aging cream around the under-eye area.
Hands and feet
Since there are no oil glands on your hands and feet, they tend to get drier and hence age faster. In the quest of maintaining their facial looks, people often neglect their hands and feet. Use more creamy products for your hands (upto the forearms), preferably something with alpha-hydroxy acids. The same stands true for your feet.
Your lips are one of the most prominent and visible features on your face. So, sporting chapped, unhealthy looking lips may just take away from your personality and may be a turn-off. And with the dry season approaching, lips are almost always the first part of the body to get affected, given that they have a very thin outer layer of skin. So here's our guide to a few things you need to make sure to have luscious, super-kissable lips!
Moisturise
Since your lips have very few oil secreting glands, they are the first to fall prey to any sudden drop in temperature. A number of over-the-counter lip balms always do the trick. Dr Sandip Jain, cosmetic surgeon, says petroleum jelly is the best thing to guard your lips. "It is best to use non-flavoured petroleum jelly as it great at coating your lips and preserving the moisture content," he adds.
Quit licking your lips
With dry lips, people have a natural tendency to lick them to moisturise them. This is a wrong way to go about it since it could lead to them further cracking up. At times, people even develop angry looking red circles on lips since licking them often robs them of the delicate natural oils. Try using a mix of petroleum jelly and honey if you're in the habit of licking lips, since petroleum jelly is amazingly resistant to moisture.
Keep a good diet
Chapped lips are sign of overall ill health. Try and maintain a healthy diet. Eat a lot of fruits and foods with high water content like grapefruit, watermelons and oranges. Also, if you have problems with blisters appearing on your lips, avoid fatty foods as they could alleviate the condition.
Smoker's lips
Smoking may cause your lips to get discoloured because of the high nicotine content in cigarettes. The best way to avoid this is to entirely quit smoking. But if you cannot for some reason, try washing your mouth after a cigarette. Dr Jain says all citrus fruits are good bleaching agents, "One can use lime juice on the dry part of their lips to try and lighten them," he says. Also, apple cider vinegar and lime juice have properties of a mild bleaching agent. Rub a cotton ball dipped in these liquids and rub them over your lips. Over a period of time it may help lighten the dark skin.
When it comes to power, politics trumps business, according to a new Forbes ranking that found heads of state occupying six of the top 10 spots among the world's most powerful people, led by US President Barack Obama. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was ranked 19, while Congress president Sonia Gandhi was 12th.
Barack Obama is the 44th president of the United States, and the first African-American to hold the post. He was elected to a second term in the 2012 election held on November 6.
Barack Obama
Angela Merkel is the Chancellor of Germany, the first woman to hold the post. She is effectively the backbone of the 27-member European Union.
Angela Merkel
Vladimir Putin is the President of Russia. He previously served as president from 2000 to 2008, and as Prime Minister from 1999 to 2000, and again from 2008 to 2012. He is serving his current term since May 2012.
Vladimir Putin
The crisis that broke out a year and a half ago caused numerous redundancies, leaving many people jobless. Yet everyone knows how essential it is to have a reliable source of income to live on. This is what I came to realize about a year ago, in the very heat of the crisis. At that time I had been working as a doctor for many years already. The wages in this sphere were gradually brought lower as the work was growing busier due to a huge wave of redundancies. It touched both medical practitioners and academics. I must admit I had a narrow escape. I was doing my best to extricate myself from the complicated situation, but there were not so many ways out available. One way was to get more working hours and to spend at hospital all the leisure time, with no time for the family left and a little surplus to the salary. The other way was searching for more income sources.
Since then I would buy newspapers offering jobs, ask my friends about possible freelancing and visit various websites. Yet, I could not find anything that would suit me: owing to the crisis there was not much to choose from. All the job offers I considered required full-time employment; besides, it was also necessary to have a narrow specialization. I simply could not take it as a doctor. On the other hand, newspapers also offered high income and flexible working hours at large chain companies. A dim prospect of distributing dietary supplements did not seem to be tempting to me. I also doubted that such an occupation could be so profitable.
Once I happened to visit the official website of InstaForex Company, providing opportunities of trading on the international forex market. At first I had a rather vague idea of the wage I would have working with InstaForex Company. Having quickly looked through the information on the website, I thought that it was another network-marketing trap and abandoned it for long.
Surfing the Internet one day, I came across a banner, promoting ShowFx World international forex exhibition, which was to take place at the coming weekend. Many brokers were expected to attend it; besides, various free seminars were to be held there as well. Since I did not have any plans for the weekend, I decided to go.
The seminar was focused on the basics of Forex trading. In a very warm and friendly atmosphere we were initiated into the essence of work on Forex. To tell the truth, I did not manage to get a clear understanding of all the principles of making profit on Forex then, but what I was absolutely sure of is that it was interesting and attractive to me. Except gaining new knowledge at seminars, we could also make some new acquaintances and communicate with the representatives of companies rendering trading services on the market. This is how I discovered InstaForex Company. Frankly speaking, I did not hesitate a minute to start working with this brokerage company. Just like most traders, I was mainly attracted by excellent trading conditions and benefits the Company’s clients enjoyed. Among the advantages the Company offers there are reviews by a team of the best analysts of the Russian Internet, Forex TV and opportunities to cooperate with MT5 portal. But what appeared especially convenient to me was a minimum deposit, equaling $10. Moreover, each client had a welcome bonus credited to his/her trading account at each depositing. Another pleasing feature of working with InstaForex Company which surprised me was plenty of contests for both beginners and professional traders. Furthermore, every client could become a full-fledged member of InstaForex international broker club. The membership card promised its owner numerous exclusive opportunities.
The 2 days spent at the exhibition inspired me to try Forex trading which I did. Having registered a demo account, I started to train and gradually penetrate into the matter. I did my best to recall everything I was told at the seminar and put it into practice. My demo trading proved to be rather successful, so I decided to launch into real trading. I opened a real trading account, but as I was not much experienced in working on a demo account, my initial capital of $100 was not sufficient to cover the losses I had. Yet, I did not stop. After an unsuccessfully closed deal I opened another one to restore the losses. However, as I came to realize later, this was my main mistake as a beginning trader: I would suffer tremendous losses by carrying out numerous deals and seeking for several pips profit. I would overlook such an important element of successful trading as stop-loss, being sure that I would be able to close a position anytime by myself. But it was not my only mistake: I was also driven by pure emotions, which hindered many profitable deals.
Later I thoroughly analyzed my mistakes to figure out its reasons. I realized that it was not merely my emotional and psychological state which conditioned my unprofitable trading but also the fact that I lacked my own trading strategy. Thanks to the rich medical experience I had it was not difficult for me to regain my emotional equilibrium. I also carefully studied many corresponding materials, investigated the principles of trading and elaborated my own trading tactics.
Since then I combined working at hospital with discovering Forex market and trading. Still, as time passed by I saw my trading profit increasing – I became a successful trader, which pushed my medical practice to being a hobby rather than the major source of income. After much hesitation I made up my mind – I decided to abandon medicine. Today I am a successful trader, able to work when it is convenient for me. And, what is even more important, I derive much pleasure from Forex trading apart from a substantial profit.
I am glad that in time of need I came across InstaForex broker. Now that I became a trader, the balance and serenity in my life have been restored and I enjoy the work, which does not depend on anyone but me.
Since then I would buy newspapers offering jobs, ask my friends about possible freelancing and visit various websites. Yet, I could not find anything that would suit me: owing to the crisis there was not much to choose from. All the job offers I considered required full-time employment; besides, it was also necessary to have a narrow specialization. I simply could not take it as a doctor. On the other hand, newspapers also offered high income and flexible working hours at large chain companies. A dim prospect of distributing dietary supplements did not seem to be tempting to me. I also doubted that such an occupation could be so profitable.
Once I happened to visit the official website of InstaForex Company, providing opportunities of trading on the international forex market. At first I had a rather vague idea of the wage I would have working with InstaForex Company. Having quickly looked through the information on the website, I thought that it was another network-marketing trap and abandoned it for long.
Surfing the Internet one day, I came across a banner, promoting ShowFx World international forex exhibition, which was to take place at the coming weekend. Many brokers were expected to attend it; besides, various free seminars were to be held there as well. Since I did not have any plans for the weekend, I decided to go.
The seminar was focused on the basics of Forex trading. In a very warm and friendly atmosphere we were initiated into the essence of work on Forex. To tell the truth, I did not manage to get a clear understanding of all the principles of making profit on Forex then, but what I was absolutely sure of is that it was interesting and attractive to me. Except gaining new knowledge at seminars, we could also make some new acquaintances and communicate with the representatives of companies rendering trading services on the market. This is how I discovered InstaForex Company. Frankly speaking, I did not hesitate a minute to start working with this brokerage company. Just like most traders, I was mainly attracted by excellent trading conditions and benefits the Company’s clients enjoyed. Among the advantages the Company offers there are reviews by a team of the best analysts of the Russian Internet, Forex TV and opportunities to cooperate with MT5 portal. But what appeared especially convenient to me was a minimum deposit, equaling $10. Moreover, each client had a welcome bonus credited to his/her trading account at each depositing. Another pleasing feature of working with InstaForex Company which surprised me was plenty of contests for both beginners and professional traders. Furthermore, every client could become a full-fledged member of InstaForex international broker club. The membership card promised its owner numerous exclusive opportunities.
The 2 days spent at the exhibition inspired me to try Forex trading which I did. Having registered a demo account, I started to train and gradually penetrate into the matter. I did my best to recall everything I was told at the seminar and put it into practice. My demo trading proved to be rather successful, so I decided to launch into real trading. I opened a real trading account, but as I was not much experienced in working on a demo account, my initial capital of $100 was not sufficient to cover the losses I had. Yet, I did not stop. After an unsuccessfully closed deal I opened another one to restore the losses. However, as I came to realize later, this was my main mistake as a beginning trader: I would suffer tremendous losses by carrying out numerous deals and seeking for several pips profit. I would overlook such an important element of successful trading as stop-loss, being sure that I would be able to close a position anytime by myself. But it was not my only mistake: I was also driven by pure emotions, which hindered many profitable deals.
Later I thoroughly analyzed my mistakes to figure out its reasons. I realized that it was not merely my emotional and psychological state which conditioned my unprofitable trading but also the fact that I lacked my own trading strategy. Thanks to the rich medical experience I had it was not difficult for me to regain my emotional equilibrium. I also carefully studied many corresponding materials, investigated the principles of trading and elaborated my own trading tactics.
Since then I combined working at hospital with discovering Forex market and trading. Still, as time passed by I saw my trading profit increasing – I became a successful trader, which pushed my medical practice to being a hobby rather than the major source of income. After much hesitation I made up my mind – I decided to abandon medicine. Today I am a successful trader, able to work when it is convenient for me. And, what is even more important, I derive much pleasure from Forex trading apart from a substantial profit.
I am glad that in time of need I came across InstaForex broker. Now that I became a trader, the balance and serenity in my life have been restored and I enjoy the work, which does not depend on anyone but me.
एक जना अर्बपति धनाढ्यले आफ्नी प्रेमिकाको जन्मदिनमा चुरोट उपहार दिए । कस्तो बुद्धु रहेछ, जन्मदिनमा पनि चुरोट उपहार दिने ? भन्ने लाग्ला तपाइँलाई । तर त्यो चुरोट कुनै लरतरो चुरोट होइन । एउटा खिल्लीकै झण्डै ९ करोड रुपैयाँ मूल्य पर्ने चुरोट हो त्यो ।
हो, लण्डनमा बस्ने रुसका एक धनाढ्यले आफ्नी गर्लफ्रेण्डको बर्थडेमा उपहार दिनका लागि ८ करोड ७३ लाख नेपाली रुपैयाँ पर्ने हिरा र सुन जडित विद्युतिय चुरोट निर्माणका लागि कारखानालाई अर्डर गरे । लण्डनको सिसा स्टिक्स नामको एक कम्पनीले २४६ वटा २ क्यारेटका हिराका टुक्रा, अन्य बहुमुल्य पत्थर, ६ क्यारेटको ओभल डायमण्ड तथा २४ क्यारेट सुनको बटन तथा बहुमुल्य सिसाको पाइपसमेत जडान भएको विद्युतिय चुरोट ४ महिना लगाएर तयार गर्यो । उनले त्यो इ चुरोट साढे ५ लाख पाउण्डमा किनेर आफ्नी गर्लफ्रेण्डको जन्मदिनमा उपहार दिए । ती धनाढ्य रुसी पुरुष र उनकी भाग्यमानी प्रेमिकाको नाम भने खुलाइएको छैन । यो विषयमा एक बेलायती टेलिभिजनमा विशेष कार्यक्रम नै प्रस्तुत भयो ।
उक्त चुरोटको नाम सिसा स्टिक्स सोफिया राखिएको छ । यो बहुमुल्य चुरोट बनाउने कम्पनीका एन्थोनी मिक्सिडेजले यस्तो चुरोट बनाउनु आफुहरुको लागि सपना जस्तै भएको बताए ।
हो, लण्डनमा बस्ने रुसका एक धनाढ्यले आफ्नी गर्लफ्रेण्डको बर्थडेमा उपहार दिनका लागि ८ करोड ७३ लाख नेपाली रुपैयाँ पर्ने हिरा र सुन जडित विद्युतिय चुरोट निर्माणका लागि कारखानालाई अर्डर गरे । लण्डनको सिसा स्टिक्स नामको एक कम्पनीले २४६ वटा २ क्यारेटका हिराका टुक्रा, अन्य बहुमुल्य पत्थर, ६ क्यारेटको ओभल डायमण्ड तथा २४ क्यारेट सुनको बटन तथा बहुमुल्य सिसाको पाइपसमेत जडान भएको विद्युतिय चुरोट ४ महिना लगाएर तयार गर्यो । उनले त्यो इ चुरोट साढे ५ लाख पाउण्डमा किनेर आफ्नी गर्लफ्रेण्डको जन्मदिनमा उपहार दिए । ती धनाढ्य रुसी पुरुष र उनकी भाग्यमानी प्रेमिकाको नाम भने खुलाइएको छैन । यो विषयमा एक बेलायती टेलिभिजनमा विशेष कार्यक्रम नै प्रस्तुत भयो ।
उक्त चुरोटको नाम सिसा स्टिक्स सोफिया राखिएको छ । यो बहुमुल्य चुरोट बनाउने कम्पनीका एन्थोनी मिक्सिडेजले यस्तो चुरोट बनाउनु आफुहरुको लागि सपना जस्तै भएको बताए ।
When I started asking various long-term couples what they do to keep their mojo going, one fairly typical response was, "How many times a year constitutes mojo?" Another wanted to know if she and her husband made love on New Year’s Eve, did it count for both years?
Well, they can be forgiven. When you are in enduring partnerships, age and routine start to creep up on you. Even though it may seem hard to recapture your hormone-addled youth, you don’t have to give up on a mutually satisfying sex life. Here is what the experts--and real couples--have to say about bringing sensuality back into the bedroom…or on the beach…or in the kitchen…or on public transportation…whoops, strike that last one.
1. Get creative. Humans are programmed to gravitate to new experiences. Boredom happens when you are not making enough effort to bring in something new. To wit: “When we were younger, we used to do it on planes, trains, and automobiles. In other people’s houses, or out in the field near the airport where the planes took off,” recalls Rich, 56, from Queens, New York. (Identities have been changed to protect the frisky.) Bad knees, lack of time, and fear of arrest have curtailed most of that, but Rich and his longtime partner Jane, 45, still try for the unexpected. “We’ll still sneak one in different places, even if it’s just in the house somewhere. And we’re always up for trying something new – sex toy, technique. If it doesn’t work, it’s still interesting.”
“Sex is an appetite so you have to create new tastes and sensations. Would you want to eat the same dinner every night? Same thing with sex. Change a room, turn a light on, add a different lotion or sex toy. If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, start watering your own lawn,” said Lou Paget, a certified sex educator and author of The Great Lover Playbook.
You could also try CouplesChemistry.com. Together, you and your partner take a confidential online quiz based on Kinsey Institute research. The results reveal what you can explore together to deepen intimacy. Based on those results, Couples Chemistry sends you a customized "Love Kit", designed bring your mutual fantasies to reality. The cost is $129 per kit, but sampler kits are also available for $80.
2. Make your sex life a judgment-free zone. Communicating needs can feel risky – what if he laughs at me? What if she thinks I’m a pervert? Work at establishing enough intimacy that if one expresses an interest in something new that the other finds icky, it’s just two people expressing their thoughts. You both should feel safe that the one isn’t going to make the other feel like a complete tool. Janice, 60, from Washington D.C., explained that if she wants to have a conversation with her partner of 30 years about something negative in the bedroom, she always starts the conversation with appreciation, as in, “I love being with you so much because you make me feel so amazing – I would just like us to do it more.’” Or “I absolutely love it when you do X…so I’d love it if you’d do more of X and maybe a little less of Y’.”
3. Laughter is a great aphrodisiac. To achieve the previous suggestion, you need to be able to laugh at yourselves. “Sometimes when my husband and I try something new, it’s a disaster. My back goes out, he gets a cramp, we can’t follow the instructions, the lingerie he bought me can fit maybe one boob at a time,” says Kelly, 50, from Rochester, NY. “Instead of getting frustrated or embarrassed, it makes us giggle uncontrollably, which actually brings us closer and makes it more fun.”
4. Plan your fun times. I know, I know, you want to be spontaneous. Planning may seem like one more thing on your to-do list. But think about it – when you were dating, didn’t you make dates with one another? And then you spent the week fantasizing about what you'd wear, what it was going to feel like? You were creating anticipation so by the time you got together, you were raring to go. Choose a night and plan to get in bed at 9pm, instead of 11, when you are too tired and cranky. Set the mood, light some candles, take a bath. Put some intention into it, rather than just rolling over after Jon Stewart signs off and pretending you are not too tired.
5. Accept and celebrate changing bodies. When you are together for a long time, you assume you know what the other wants. But as bodies change, appetites and needs change, too. Sometimes you might need a little extra help – a vibrator, lubricant, Viagra. You need to figure out how your body responds -- try masturbating occasionally to see what is working these days -- and communicate that. And if your partner asks for a change, don’t assume that this is an expression of dissatisfaction with past relations. He or she is just telling you what works for his or her body now.
6. Pay attention. “One of the biggest reasons affairs get started is couples aren’t paying attention to one another. Their relationship gets put to the bottom of the to-do list,” says Paget. So: No multi-tasking. Turn off the TV (unless it’s playing a fun adult movie you are both enjoying), let the answering machine do its job, silence the cell phone, no checking email or playing videogames. You'd be surprised. According to the 2013 Mobile Consumer Habits study, 9% of people use their smartphones during sex. And doesn’t that sound like a good time? Not. Concentrate on each other.
1. Get creative. Humans are programmed to gravitate to new experiences. Boredom happens when you are not making enough effort to bring in something new. To wit: “When we were younger, we used to do it on planes, trains, and automobiles. In other people’s houses, or out in the field near the airport where the planes took off,” recalls Rich, 56, from Queens, New York. (Identities have been changed to protect the frisky.) Bad knees, lack of time, and fear of arrest have curtailed most of that, but Rich and his longtime partner Jane, 45, still try for the unexpected. “We’ll still sneak one in different places, even if it’s just in the house somewhere. And we’re always up for trying something new – sex toy, technique. If it doesn’t work, it’s still interesting.”
“Sex is an appetite so you have to create new tastes and sensations. Would you want to eat the same dinner every night? Same thing with sex. Change a room, turn a light on, add a different lotion or sex toy. If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, start watering your own lawn,” said Lou Paget, a certified sex educator and author of The Great Lover Playbook.
You could also try CouplesChemistry.com. Together, you and your partner take a confidential online quiz based on Kinsey Institute research. The results reveal what you can explore together to deepen intimacy. Based on those results, Couples Chemistry sends you a customized "Love Kit", designed bring your mutual fantasies to reality. The cost is $129 per kit, but sampler kits are also available for $80.
2. Make your sex life a judgment-free zone. Communicating needs can feel risky – what if he laughs at me? What if she thinks I’m a pervert? Work at establishing enough intimacy that if one expresses an interest in something new that the other finds icky, it’s just two people expressing their thoughts. You both should feel safe that the one isn’t going to make the other feel like a complete tool. Janice, 60, from Washington D.C., explained that if she wants to have a conversation with her partner of 30 years about something negative in the bedroom, she always starts the conversation with appreciation, as in, “I love being with you so much because you make me feel so amazing – I would just like us to do it more.’” Or “I absolutely love it when you do X…so I’d love it if you’d do more of X and maybe a little less of Y’.”
3. Laughter is a great aphrodisiac. To achieve the previous suggestion, you need to be able to laugh at yourselves. “Sometimes when my husband and I try something new, it’s a disaster. My back goes out, he gets a cramp, we can’t follow the instructions, the lingerie he bought me can fit maybe one boob at a time,” says Kelly, 50, from Rochester, NY. “Instead of getting frustrated or embarrassed, it makes us giggle uncontrollably, which actually brings us closer and makes it more fun.”
4. Plan your fun times. I know, I know, you want to be spontaneous. Planning may seem like one more thing on your to-do list. But think about it – when you were dating, didn’t you make dates with one another? And then you spent the week fantasizing about what you'd wear, what it was going to feel like? You were creating anticipation so by the time you got together, you were raring to go. Choose a night and plan to get in bed at 9pm, instead of 11, when you are too tired and cranky. Set the mood, light some candles, take a bath. Put some intention into it, rather than just rolling over after Jon Stewart signs off and pretending you are not too tired.
5. Accept and celebrate changing bodies. When you are together for a long time, you assume you know what the other wants. But as bodies change, appetites and needs change, too. Sometimes you might need a little extra help – a vibrator, lubricant, Viagra. You need to figure out how your body responds -- try masturbating occasionally to see what is working these days -- and communicate that. And if your partner asks for a change, don’t assume that this is an expression of dissatisfaction with past relations. He or she is just telling you what works for his or her body now.
6. Pay attention. “One of the biggest reasons affairs get started is couples aren’t paying attention to one another. Their relationship gets put to the bottom of the to-do list,” says Paget. So: No multi-tasking. Turn off the TV (unless it’s playing a fun adult movie you are both enjoying), let the answering machine do its job, silence the cell phone, no checking email or playing videogames. You'd be surprised. According to the 2013 Mobile Consumer Habits study, 9% of people use their smartphones during sex. And doesn’t that sound like a good time? Not. Concentrate on each other.